Male Haircut Stories

"I think you should go shorter."

"Well, I don’t know."

It gets so frustrating at times. I mean, I know he wants to get his hair cut short, he knows he really wants it short, and everyone knows he’ll look better with short hair, but we go through this little drama. I looked through the window over at Joe and gave him one of my ‘why did I ever become a barber’ shrugs.

The client was Derrin, a middle aged man who had been coming to my Dad’s shop for years. He had then somehow become my client, and over the past twelve months, we played this game where I would suggest he go shorter, and he would argue, and then I would end up taking a bit more off than last time.

The thing was, he was thinning out fairly quickly on top, and the short buzzed cut would make him look a lot better than the straggly few hairs that were left. I know it’s a big thing to lose your hair (and God forbid it should ever happen to me), but if it’s going to go, make the best of it. Announce it to the world with pride - don’t hide your head in the closet.

So here we were again, and I was determined to take the last of his hair down to a fine buzz all over. But it was like landing a fish - lots of pulling here, backing off there, and waiting for him to tire himself out and just give in.

"It would look so much better short. And you wouldn’t have any trouble drying it after you’ve been swimming, either."

As we continued to dance around the subject, I looked up to see this young guy walking towards the shop. He had dark blond hair, parted in the middle and falling in two waves across his forehead and back behind his ears. It was the kind of haircut that makes a guy look ‘cute’ and young. Of course, I was immediately jealous of how thick and wavy it was - especially after I had just finished thinking about going bald.

(For those of you who don’t know, my hair is baby fine and the only body it has is what the shampoo and gel give it. If it’s not styled, it falls over my face and makes me look like the Beaver. The last thing I need is to look younger. But my fine hair could start disappearing like my Dad’s, and as any fetisher knows, there is nothing worse than hair on the pillow. Unless I’ve cut it off of a helpless Joe, of course.)

Anyway, this young guy is walking toward the shop and he’s working his tie off as he approaches, and undoes the top button of his blue business shirt. He comes through the door, and he can see there’s only one chair and it’s occupied at the moment. I’m afraid he’ll leave and take all that hair with him, and I wonder what Derrin would think if I kicked him off the chair and hustled him out of the shop...

But, miracles happen.

"Ah, I was in a bit of a hurry. How long will I have to wait for a cut?"

"Well, we’ve just started here..."

Then Derrin says, "That’s okay. I’m not in any hurry. And I have to think about what sort of cut I want, anyway." I could have kissed the guy’s bald head at that moment.

"Thanks. I appreciate it."

The blond guy then changes places with Derrin, and I cape him up and start running my hands through his hair. Nope, there’s nothing in there. Those waves are natural. That colour is natural. That thickness is natural. What a pain. I hope my boner is not showing too much.

"So, what can I do for you. Just a trim?"

"Nope. I need it really short."

"How short is ‘short’?"

"I’m meeting this girl for the first time tonight, and I told her on the Internet I was a marine. I need a haircut like that."

Now, the mention of a girl is depressing, but the idea of this guy going military is a sort of compensation.

"Do you want it really high and tight like a new recruit, or do you want something you can wear to work on Monday?"

"Maybe a flat top, like they have in the movies."

"Okay. I can do that."

So thick-haired blond guy wants to go short. I hope Derrin is paying attention.

I start out by using the scissors to get rid of some of the bulk. This leaves a whole pile of curled locks on the floor around my feet. Some of the length I cut off the back was at least three inches. As more hair fell, I could start to get a feel for his head shape, and I could plan what I was going to do with the clippers.

I was like a sculptor, chipping away the outer stone to reveal the inner flat top. A good barber is an artist, and I had to visualize the best lines for the hair on his head. Not every skull can handle a strong diagonal, and some foreheads cope well with a high fringe.

I don’t know whether Derrin was a real hair fetishist, but I noticed him looking on with avid interest. So was Joe. So was I, for that matter.

Once the bulk of the hair was gone, I got out the clippers and tightened the head. I started off with a big comb to set the maximum length for the top. Then I put down the comb and ran a bit of gel through the top hair, just to get it standing straight.

Then onto the back. This is a serious step, because it is here that the little blemishes can reveal themselves. Scars that you got as a kid and forgot about. Moles. Bald patches. Birthmarks. All things that can spoil the look of the buzz. However, our blond would-be marine had a clear, clean scalp, and so I took it in a little tighter.

I started off around the ears with a basic short buzz, and then used the clippers to sort of grade the sides up, giving them a taper. Because his hair was so thick, the strands kept clogging the blades though. I went back to the scissors and did the rest by hand.

There were lots of stray hairs that need to be clipped. There was a lot of work to be done on the top. I used the flat top comb to give me a level, and there was plenty of running my hands through his short hair to make sure it was all standing up. Hey, it’s my job! Someone’s got to do it.

At one stage, I almost slipped on some of the hair on the floor. There seemed a hell of a lot of it, and I kicked a pile of it off to the side before I ended up sliding and putting a permanent part in the guy’s skull.

Finally, it was finished. A nice crisp cut. Not too high, but definitely tight. I stood back and admired the transformation. The hair didn’t make him look older, but it definitely made him look more mature, if that makes sense.

When he stood up, the white scalp and blond hair looked good against the blue shirt. He thanked Derrin, and paid me. I was sorry to see him go, and suggested he came back soon for maintenance.

Then I got Derrin back in the chair. I was still on a bit of a high from the flat top, but I had to get back to business. I was just about to start the process of convincing Derrin to go short, when he said,

"I’ll have what he’s having."

So, I couldn’t give him the flat top, but I got stuck into taking the sides down a bit before he changed his mind. Okay, I probably made it a bit too short, but I was on a roll. Anyway, he seemed to like it. And it suited him. I ran my hand over the short, soft hairs, and I think he got a kick out of the feel himself.

"That’s much better," I said.

"Yeah, I think that’s great." By the time he paid and left, I was feeling a little ‘buzzed’ out. It must be easier to be a barber when you don’t have to spend half your day with an erection.

When I went to sweep up, I found that the blond curls were mixed with the salt and pepper ends from Derrin. I kept one of these ‘peppered’ locks for my scrapbook, and wondered whether I would see the blond guy again. If he was that willing to change his hair, maybe I could interest him in experimenting in other areas. Who knows.

Anyway, I hope to see all you long-haired hippies in here soon for the same treatment.

Labels: LNHB